Scared
by Densonic
Summary: Just a short little one shot. Kensi and Deeks talk about kids and their future. Based on episode 7X12.


Ok so I always read fan fiction but this is my first time ever writing. So bear with me and please please please review. And we'll see if this is just a one time thing or something more. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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Sitting on the couch with Kensi, Deeks decides that now is a good a time as any to bring up what been on his mind since they left the hospital .

"So..." Deeks says "I couldn't help but notice how good you were with the baby in the hospital . And you know...well it kind of...made me wonder why you don't want to have any of your own." Said Deeks. Kensi looked at him and could see the worrisome look in his eyes and it didn't make here feel sad but guilty. Her heart hurt for the fact that he is scared to have this talk with her. That he is holding back what he wants for fear of how she will react. So she decides to ease his worrying and finally start communicating.

"Marty..." His head popped up at the mention of his first name. A name that only passed from her lips at home but never in public. It's funny he thought. How he thinks of home as her. Something that he learned from Thapa no doubt. "Marty..." She waved in his face trying to get his attention. On the in side laughing at how he could get carried away with his thoughts so easily. And then she began again. "Marty I'm sorry..."

"What do you have to be..." He interrupted her. She hushed him by putting a finger to his lips like he had done before. Only this time no one got hurt as a result of that.

"I'm sorry for giving you the impression that I don't like kids. That you should be afraid to even bring up the subject, because you would be instantly shot down. But please understand this when I tell you that, I don't not like kids. In fact being with you has made me realize that I love them. If there not mine" Deeks head fell at that moment. No longer could she his corn flower blues eyes that reminded her so much of the beautiful ocean they loved. She lifted his head to meet her eyes once again.

"But being with you has also allowed me to accept how scared I am. I see you with kids and your a natural. Your amazing and they love you. I could never do that. And with how much bad things we see on a daily basis, all the crime and pain. I just makes me think why would I ever want to bring a child into that. Any day one of us could die and leave our child alone. I don't want them to go through that...what I went through. I don't want to ruin a child's life who depends on me to come home and protect them, to nourish them, to love them."

Deeks noticed that small tears started to form in the corners of her eyes. He pulled her in to his chest and layed them down on the couch. And she finally allowed them to fall. Though a shaky voice and a lump in her throat she continued. "B...bu..but being in that hospital, holding that baby, seeing how much love there was. Made me think that I want that. WITH YOU! Because I know that any baby that has you as a father will turn out amazing. And I'm scared that with all my fears and past that you'll see how much you don't need me and end up leaving me like everyone else." With that Kensi picked her head up from his chest to look into his ocean eyes and found unshed tears that were previously in hers.

"Kensi I told you this a thousand times and I'll tell you again I will never willingly leave you. I made a promise and I intend to keep it. Even with all your terrible jokes, bad food choices, lack of food skills and hoarding problems. I will stay with you no matter what. I'm not Jack and I will continue to remind you that. Until you get it in that beautiful head of yours that, your not getting rid of me that easily. Plus I always knew that you would eventually come to your senses and realize how irresistible I am. When ever the time is right well have the best little mutant ninja assassins ever."

He said grinning with that smile that lights up the world. She let a few tears of happiness fall and he kissed them away. Before they decided that it's been a long day and what better way to unwind than a hot shower. Deeks deciding that saving water is a must, insisted they share. Let's just say they were plenty tired after that.


End file.
